Letter to Dogs...

If you checked my sidebar or read posts about 'The Shadow' you know a Corgi rules this house!
I'll credit my daughter for introducing a love for Corgis in this family along with Tasha Tudor's books (you had to know there were books somewhere in this story!)

I am a dog lover first of all (albeit we also have a Cat - who rules EVERYONE of course!) and will spend a considerable amount of time checking favourite blogs who feature their four legged friends. Granny always said to trust a human by the way they treat their pets!

Despite his serious look 'Mac' the Corgi is as mischievous as any of his breed and provides us with daily chuckles with his antics. A ball, Frisbee and treats keeps him happy. His capacity for understanding what we discuss - even when we spell the words - is still a puzzle to us! Nothing gets by him!

The following 'Letter to Dogs' was sent to us by a dear friend, another dog lover of course and is probably known by some of you but here it is none the less just because...well, where would we be without our furry friends?!

Aimed mostly at those of us who have more than one dog (but applicable to any combination of pets, trust me!)

Dear Dogs:

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way!

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain YOUR food. The other dishes are mine and contain MY food. Please note placing a paw print in the middle of MY plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming YOUR food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run!

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am truly sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort!
Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm!

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees!

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, to try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
In addition I have been using bathrooms for years and canine assistance is not mandatory!

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

Then we get to the rules for non-pet owners who visit and...like to complain about our pets:

1. The dog lives here. You don't!
2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my dog a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you she's (he's) a dog. To me she's (he's) an adopted daughter (son) who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and does not speak clearly.
5. Dogs are better than kids are. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive you car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the pups.

Just so you know: the same applies to cats, except they ignore you until you are asleep.